Our Children as Our Being/Self a Mirror to the Past and Present
It has been brought to my awareness…this ‘picture’ if you will and thought that our children show us where we have been in our lives, both emotionally and spiritually. We can all ‘accept’ the fact that we pass on our genetic heiritage to our children, but I am becoming increasingly aware that where we are at in that moment in time in which we are pregnant (and I will discuss the male role a bit later on too, you don’t get to escape this either!) reflects in our children if we care to make an honest assessment of both ourselves and our children.
These thoughts are not meant to heap shame or guilt or to give anyone a pat on the back, but rather to be though provoking. I put this out as more as a guide post for ourselves in where we maybe at or from where we have come from so that later, we can begin to heal ourselves when we have ‘no clue’. This is also meant to help you gain greater connection with your child so that you may truly help them and come from a place of greater understanding and compassion when dealing with them…
While we accept that we can pass along the genetic tendency to have diabetes or our height or eye color, can it not also be true that we pass along to our children our beliefs about the world and feelings of safety?
More and more we have become aware that we can effect each other with our ‘moods’ (how many times have you felt someone enter the room and perhaps they brightened up the atmosphere or ‘sucked’ the life out of the room?), that energy is put forth in our words which we use to express our emotions and beliefs (words can wound and/or heal, do you say things like ‘wait a minute, I have to make sure the door is locked’ or ‘ I am always late’ or ‘nobody cares about me’ or ‘who cares?’…these are just off the top of my head examples, I am know for certain that there are many more!) has just as much reaction in another as our actions do? (ever felt puzzled by someone saying one thing and yet doing something directly opposite? We call this mixed signals…but what are signals exactly but energy meant to signal a particular belief or thought or action to effect us?)
More people believe this everyday but have you thought about your feelings (which are pure energy and that experiments by Dr. Moto prove can change the molecular make-up of water…hang with me here one more minute!) as having a lasting effect on your unborn child which in turn they internalize as ‘theirs’ and use as a filter on the world? We know and understand how important our interactions are with our children because of numerous studies done with monkeys on the effects of isolation, the importance of touch/kind of touch etc. on our children, but we have yet to explore the idea that OUR EMOTIONS and deeply held beliefs about the world affect the unborn!
Could it be? Could it be that the ‘perfect’ child or the ‘bad’ child is merely a reflection of what we were going through while carrying that child? We know that extreme stress can cause premature birth, so if you were uptight and angry at the world while pregnant, could it not stand to reason that your child might be ‘uptight’ and distrustful or perhaps angry and demanding in nature? Or very apprehensive and afraid if what you were really feeling were feelings of insecurity and fear? Or perhaps you were having the time of your life while pregnant and got that happy, go-lucky child that nothing seems to dampen their spirit but they seem unable to be in touch with reality or maybe they are ‘not real’? Or maybe on the surface things looked great but deep down you really felt like the world was going to come crashing down at any moment? Or perhaps you are lucky enough to have that child that cannot sit still for one minute! Did you feel time hurried and pressured while pregnant to get ‘all this done’ and raced break neck speed through life? These are just some thoughts to get you thinking…maybe you have been very fortunate in life and have that direct connection to safety and security and nothing bothers you and you wound up with the ‘best’ child ever! If so, congratulations! Enjoy your child and know how very lucky you are indeed!
If you are honest, you might see your emotions and beliefs in your child, perhaps not where you are at now, but where you were then. And it can be very subtle in nature, I have one child who is diagnosised ADHD, is very sensitive, the drama king but very bull headed and tenacious beyond belief! Hmm…in perfect honesty I can see exactly how he ‘inheirited’ all of this from me! At the time I was a perfectionist, running on adrenaline out of fear of being seen as less than perfect, hiding my imperfections from the world, in complete denial of the problems in my life (did I mention that my son is very adept at avoiding things?) I was full of bottled up emotions that I rarely let out and then over reacted to situations (or so it seemed)…but held on for dear life to my ‘way’ of doing things even to my own detriment and at that time in my life you couldn’t tell me anything and I fought hard for my right to be right! Now, coming forward 10 years, after having lived a lifetime I have a daughter who is the most connected little person I know who is dead honest in her being, if she is happy she is happy. She is concentrated on what is before her but aware of everything else going on around her too. She is more than happy, she is joyous, but she is also a bit wary of people until she ‘figures’ them out and then let them where they stand either way! She is also a hard head when it comes to getting what she wants…hmm sound just like me on the inside!
Perhaps I am seeing things and connecting dots where lines don’t belong, but I don’t think so. I have had the opportunity to get to know other people and their children well enough to see this hold true when I am aware of the truth of the situation. And yes, while current parental behavior influences the child’s behavior NOW, I am talking about PERSONALITY…what the core of the child is and not just circumstances.
Back to Dr.Emoto…without rehashing his research greatly, it is enough to remind you, the reader, that he has shown scientifically that our vibrations (which are indicative of our emotions, thoughts, beliefs) have a direct impact upon waters structural make-up and the HUMAN body is made up of mostly what? Water! So, given that we a) have the human ‘egg’ for years before it gets a chance to become a human b) we ‘hold’ this child in us for almost 9 months (much like taping a word onto a glass of water as Dr. Emoto did to show its effects) can it not stand to reason then that we have greatly influenced our children’s ‘make-up’ and who they are? Take the leap of faith now and think about it.
So what about the father? Well, if you can swallow (no pun intended!) that we as women pass on our emotions/thoughts/beliefs to our unborn child much as in how words/thoughts/beliefs pass onto water as in Dr. Emoto’s work, then it would also stand to reason that the father who is in close contact and connection with the unborn child would so also, but to a lesser degree, although the mother/father interaction and how the mother feels and thinks about it would have a great impact on this child. And I do believe that there is a very critical time period in which just after birth the father holds greater influence over the child than the mother (the first 5 weeks) in helping to seal the deal so to speak. It feels to me as though this time the child is almost a psychic sponge when it comes to the father and when I look back honestly and look at others too, I can ‘see’ this imprint upon the child and their interaction with the world as they grow up. Look at your partner and ‘see’…get past the defenses and look…
I have written this in hopes of providing greater understanding and knowledge about yourself and your child so that both of you may grow in wisdom to pass on what works/worked to future generations. For when we can identify with the other, we can be most helpful as it engages our heart and mind and comes across as empathy and understanding and feels valid to the one that we are trying to help. This is just my thoughts and a very small piece of the puzzle.
Blessings
Laura
11/07
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